I was the definition of a fit-fat person
I don't talk much about my years as a trainer when I was previously married. But those years were some of my best memories (this pic for instance) and also some of my loneliest and saddest. Back then I would spend hours at the gym trying to "fix" my sadness, loneliness, depression what have you. I thought if I worked out for hours at a time I would FINALLY lose the baby weight (she's 2 years old here for Pete's sake), lean out, feel good in my skin and therefore feel loved. I just never felt good enough, fit enough, skinny enough. I equated all of that to being lovable. What I didn't take into account, was all the food I was stuffing in my face AFTER the workouts was completely counterproductive. Because in my mind "I'd earned it". It's amazing the stories you tell yourself to make it all right.
The more I learned about health and fitness as a trainer, the more I understood what I was doing to my body. I decided that if I couldn't control my weight with exercise, I would do it with food. So, I followed the low-fat diet trend (at the time) to a T! I completely stayed away from fat and STILL couldn't get the weight off.
How could this be that I was doing everything right, and still fit-fat! Still not lovable! Still not good enough, thin enough, fit enough--just not enough! Talk about feeling frustrated beyond belief! Would I ever be worthy?
Turns out, yes! It's fascinating what you learn after 20 years of marriage and then a divorce.
I continued my search for weight loss. But this time, I did it for ME! I didn't do it to be enough for someone, I did it to be enough for me. I got happy and healthy mentally and physically. In fact, through all my trials and errors with different diet trends, eating plans etc. I deciphered WHAT truly works for lasting sustainability. I cared enough about 'me' to stay the course long enough to figure it out, and by following MY plan that took years to design; I've been able to lose that baby weight and KEEP IT OFF! (She's 24 now!)
I share this story not to gain pity, but to share victory! I share this so that other people may learn from it and resonate with it. If I can do it, YOU can do it too! If this touched you in any way, or you need help deciphering what works for you, REACH OUT! I would love to share with you my tried and true plan!! Feel free to share your thoughts, and comments.
Lastly, shout out to Matthew Burbridge and Perry Power for teaching me that my story matters!
Please share my story with any and all who need to hear this!