I loved sweats and sweat shirts. They were my comfy clothes. I wore them everywhere thinking that it was ok, but really they were my hiding place, my safe place. I felt comfortable and believed that I was invisible. No one could really see what I looked like underneath.
I hated getting my pictures taken. In fact, there aren't many of me during this time. I just wanted to go unnoticed, undetected and not draw attention to myself. The truth is I was embarrassed. I didn't like how I had let myself go and just was full of shame. Wild huh!
I know--hard to believe right? I'm sure it is for people who know me now.
I was a different person then. I didn't have any self confidence. I didn't trust myself or feel like I was in control of anything in my life. I felt lost, alone, sad and just depressed.
I used to be so active before and somehow had lost my way and my why. Life happened and I just gained so much weight that I couldn't find my way out of the darkness I was surrounded by.
Until I asked for help! When you ask, you receive. As cliche as it sounds it's true.
When I couldn't lose weight no matter what I tried--I finally got a hormonal panel taken. To my dismay I found out that I had hypothyroidism. Not only that, but also Raynaud's, an auto immune disorder. It wasn't a death sentence, it was an answer. Finally, I had an answer.
This diagnosis allowed me to take back control of my life. Weight loss/management looks different when you have thyroid issues. I had to change a LOT of things I was doing with regards to diet and exercise. Things I never dreamed would make a difference, but they did.
So, the moral of this story: ASK FOR HELP! Don't ever settle.
You are worth more than hiding in baggy clothes, hating getting your picture taken, being withdrawn. You are worth all that life has to offer you!
Investigate until you exhaust all options and then ASK FOR HELP!
Aren't you worth it?