I loved sweats and sweat shirts. They were my comfy clothes. I wore them everywhere thinking that it was ok, but really they were my hiding place, my safe place. I felt comfortable and believed that I was invisible. No one could really see what I looked like underneath.
I hated getting my pictures taken. In fact, there aren't many of me during this time. I just wanted to go unnoticed, undetected and not draw attention to myself. The truth is I was embarrassed. I didn't like how I had let myself go and just was full of shame. Wild huh!
I know--hard to believe right? I'm sure it is for people who know me now.
I was a different person then. I didn't have any self confidence. I didn't trust myself or feel like I was in control of anything in my life. I felt lost, alone, sad and just depressed.
I used to be so active before and somehow had lost my way and my why. Life happened and I just gained so much weight that I couldn't find my way out of the darkness I was surrounded by.
Until I asked for help! When you ask, you receive. As cliche as it sounds it's true.
When I couldn't lose weight no matter what I tried--I finally got a hormonal panel taken. To my dismay I found out that I had hypothyroidism. Not only that, but also Raynaud's, an auto immune disorder. It wasn't a death sentence, it was an answer. Finally, I had an answer.
This diagnosis allowed me to take back control of my life. Weight loss/management looks different when you have thyroid issues. I had to change a LOT of things I was doing with regards to diet and exercise. Things I never dreamed would make a difference, but they did.
So, the moral of this story: ASK FOR HELP! Don't ever settle.