I had to make a change in my life because I was dying inside.
Making a change in life is HARD! Especially when comfort is so enticing and so much easier.
I had it all, or so I was told. I had a 2 car garage, 2 beautiful kids, a dog, a cat, a stay at home mom life; all the basic needs a girl could ask for--but I was dying inside.
Something was missing...let's call it authenticity. I wasn't living an authentic life. It looked right and perfect on the outside, but it was far from that on the inside.
On the inside I was sad, lonely, confused, demeaned, belittled and made to feel inferior. What's really sad was I was beginning to live all of those things and believe all of them on the outside as well as the inside.
As I carried on each day living my unauthentic life, I started to realize I was dying a slow death. I didn't feel joy, excitement, love, or any sort of emotion. I was numb.
I started to go to counseling to figure out what was wrong with me. What I found out was much much more than I bargained for. I found out that I was a target, a punching bag for bullies.
Me! Being bullied? How could it be? I was bullied at home, and also at work by my boss. I felt surrounded by bullies. People who didn't believe in me, support me or lift up my soul.
So.....I left. I left it all....
I made a HUGE change in my life and left my supposed dream life with the white picket fence, 2 car garage, and I left my job. I let go of the facade I worked so hard to create and hide behind to embrace the new reality that I was faced with. Starting over.
I was alone.
But I was free.
Time to rebuild ME! Finding me again was refreshing, rejuvenating, energizing but also hard in another way. Although my dream life now looked different and felt different, it was ok. It was hard, but exciting. A huge weight was lifted. I started believing in me again.
It felt good.
Taking back who you are is life changing and life saving.
Know what I mean? If this spoke to you at all, feel free to share your thoughts...you're not alone!!